It’s pandemonium at the start line. They’re all four, but some of them haven’t been four for very long and they’ve still got that perilous three-year-old toddle. A few of them have fat little hands and big, ill-proportioned heads. One keeps falling forwards because he’s trying to get as close to the line as possible without crossing it.
A teacher telling them to all take a step back prompts a deluge of tears and wails as eggs crash and spoons slip and fingers and toes are squashed deep into the grass.
“Let’s get this over with,” a parent intervenes, “GO!”